Subduing Ego

Subduing Ego

I’m the doer of everything, from getting up in the morning to sleeping in the night, all activities that are performed are only done by me, there is no one other than me who is the doer.

I’m the enjoyer of actions and the same person who suffers, I’m attached to worldly pleasures and try to acquire everything to become happier. I suffer as I did not get my desired objects. I’m attached my kids, parents, wife etc, I live with them for my happiness and fight when unhappy.

I’m the doer of everything.

Why am I say this? Why do I feel that I’m the doer, what am I doing and most importantly whom an I that is doing everything? I keep saying to everyone that I’m the doer, I fight with all for my happiness. So, who am I? who is involved in such multitude of emotions and actions.

I think I’m the doer, for example I’m the writer of this article, but at the same time when I think it over, I’m using this body to write this article. So, then who am I, if this body is not me, then who am I?

How can I be the body as I know by direct perception that I’m using the body to write this article, so the body is just an instrument for me to do the action. Therefore, I’m not the body. If I’m not the body, then what am I?

Let me analyse this further, I’m writing this article, so now I know I’m not the body which is writing the article, then I must be the mind who is writing this article. Wow this must be true!
But if I’m the mind, why do I say that my mind is thinking about these thoughts and the body is writing the article on the computer? I don’t know what is happening here. I thought my mind is me, that’s is I’m the mind. But at the same time my intellect is not agreeing with this logic.
How can I be the mind if I say that my mind is writing this article or is coming up these thoughts which are actioned by the body. Based on this I cannot be the mind nor the body. I’m using both the body and mind to get this article out. Then what am I or who am I?

If I’m not the body or mind, then I must be my Ego, I must be the name that is called by others. I think I’m the doer of everything, Ego is what drives me to do this action, without ego I do not exist. Only with ego I know what is happening, I perceive everything, and I know that I’m the doer. Then I’m must the ego otherwise there is nothing left and without ego I’m nothing.

But how I can be the ego, when I’m saying that I’m the ego, who is this I saying that I’m the ego? What!!! This is strange I’m not able to understand this line of questioning within my mind. If I say that I’m the ego everything makes sense, but when I question about my ego. Then nothing makes sense.

Why am I saying it as my Ego instead of me? Why can’t I say that I’m the ego, why do I see ego as an instrument just like the body and mind, which is executing this action of tying?

If I’m saying that my body, my mind and my ego, all these are mine, but they are not me. Its like buying a land/toy etc, the land/toy etc is mine but I’m not the land etc.

So, I’m what I’m which is excluding all these things, I’m neither the body/mind or ego all these are instruments for me to do or not to do anything. I’m independent of these and these instruments are dependent on my existence for its existence.

Then who am I? I’m what I’m. Only when I relinquish all of the above I will know myself and I’m that.